Projects

Living in a 92 year old farmhouse means a life of projects to tackle.  Most of the work falls onto Sweetheart.  That's a lot of work for one person.  He had some help recently finishing the attic.  After he framed and hung drywall on some of the crookedest beams ever (the original wood not his framing), a neighbor helped him with taping, mudding and texturing it.  He was able to teach Sweetheart what to do and Sweetheart did it.
And so the attic is "finished".  That means it is finished enough to move it even if there are still more things to do to it.  So, nearly three years after I began packing up our old house to sell it, I finally have a space to create.  I love it.
I unpacked tub after tub of art and craft supplies and have enjoyed finding places to put it all.  I still have one laundry basket of stuff to deal with, but I moved in enough.  We were able to spread out and make some Valentines for people, even if some didn't get mailed out until Valentines Day. 
It's so nice to have a place to sit and think and spread out papers and paints and not have to clean it all up for the next meal!  I've gone up early a few mornings armed with my thermos of tea and or coffee.  I can sit up there and do devotions and even do some sketching and watercolouring. Joanne is my inspiration for that.
I've got several books on living creatively that I have been reading through as well and trying out some ideas and teaching myself a lot.  The Creative Call is one book I bought in January that I am really enjoying.  I bought Taking Flight shortly after Dumpling was born and am just now getting around to reading it again.  And The Creative License:  Giving Yourself Permission to Be the Artist You Really Are is the final one.  Now, all I have to do it get going on it all.
I am not one to consider myself An Artist.  I always think of my Aunt as such.  But, as I grow older I am learning to live more creatively and feel freer thinking of myself as one.  I enjoy creating beauty whether it is in writing, taking pictures, reading stories, gardening, or making cards.  I am learning that my life is my art.  I may never sell a thing, or be published, or whatever, but that's ok.  I am happier whenever I can be creating beauty in whatever form it takes.  We'll just see where it takes me.
Well, it's time to create some beauty in the kitchen and while I wish that was to be in the form of making some scones, it more just needs to be in doing the dishes I've left in the sink.  Since breakfast.
In all fairness to myself, I've been battling a cold since Saturday and have spent more time just trying to rest and get better than I have cleaning.  Which would explain the laundry pile threatening to overtake the downstairs washroom...I have been able to read though.  Sense & Sensibility, Pride & Prejudice are complete and I am in the middle of Mansfield Park.  Not bad for a few days reading!
Hmm...maybe I should whip up the scones and do the dishes while they bake...  ;)  I think I like that idea.  Having discovered how much a simple vanilla glaze can do for my scones has been a dangerous thing.  It's elevated an easy treat into something amazing. 

Thinking Out Loud

I love the light at dusk here.

I been thinking a lot. Probably too much. I have a tendency to over think things. Just ask Sweetheart. I've been thinking about "how I've always done it" and "how things are done now".
I'm learning to rephrase and rethink past automatic responses, but it isn't easy. I think (!) I need to do it, or I just might go crazy living here in Planet Idaho. Because, seriously, it's another world here in the middle of nowhere.
I don't miss what most people might think I'd miss. I mean, I do miss Target and Starbucks being 15 minutes away instead of two hours. Some conveniences are nice. But I just don't feel like making the effort even when the opportunity arises to go. I don't really care about that old way of life anymore. Besides, it sure saves money not going there!
I miss my dear friends, of course. I miss hanging with my best friends once a month at least. But I'm not lonely here. Not even like I felt for so many years in the city. Plus, I know I still have those dear friends even if I can't just see them when I want. It's ok. It's different.
I am thinking about other, bigger ideas and ways of viewing life. This isn't meant in any way to demean city life, or all the people choosing differently. A lot of what I'm thinking about probably applies to everyone.
I've been thinking about "trying vs. training", "instincts vs. experts", "perfect vs. done", "routines vs. schedules", "entertaining vs. hospitality", and more. Most of these thoughts have come up from various other bloggers and I'll try to add links later. But, it is likely that some of the original posts and where I've gone with them, may no longer resemble one another. (I am trying to "pin" relevant posts where I can find them later, so as to not have the brain fade I am currently operating under.)
I could type for hours on all these things, but the reality of life is that nap time is almost over, the tortillas I made need wrapping and freezing, the boys want to make cookies today, and I should sweep the floor for the 100th time this week. All this to say, I'll probably try to tackle each one of these pairs of thought in its own posts.
I have so much I want to write and share and it all gets lost in the dailiness of life.  But I don't want to miss this.  I think, somehow, it's more than me just needing to get out more.  Life has changed so much these last few years and I want to somehow articulate, maybe just for my own sake, what those changes mean and where to go from here.
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Was able to track the post on "Trying vs. Training" I read that has me thinking about a lot of life in light of this.  Feel free to read and come back here and tell me your thoughts.  :)  I'll post more on it soon and would love to bounce the idea around with others. 

Use vs. Value

I read the devotion the other morning in My Utmost for His Highest and my mind keeps going back to a certain thought from it.

"We should quit asking ourselves, 'Am I of any use?'
and accept the truth that we are really not of much use to Him.
The issue is never of being of use, but of being of value to God Himself.
Once we are totally surrendered to God, He will work through us all the time."

How many of us get our feelings of worth from doing? I feel the day has been a success if I can mark off all the things off of my To Do List.

How often does that happen? I mean really. I put so much on that thing that I'll be dead before I'm done! You, too?

So does that mean I am not successful/useful, and if I am not successful am I a failure and therefore worthless? Ah, the endless American striving! The finding of our identity by what we do: I am (was) a teacher. A title, an accomplishment, something we can understand and even value. It's often the first question we ask of a new acquaintance. So, what do you do?

But, what if we would could just totally stop. Not just for our own selves, but for each person with whom we come in contact. Stop and see the VALUE of the person as One He Loves, not for What They Do. What a freeing thought! He does the needed work through us anyway.

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On a totally different note, let's talk goats. (See, told you it was different.) I want some, and now is the time of year to start looking and buying. I want them mainly for milk. (Not of course, simply for what they do, smile here in light of the last few paragraphs, but come on, it's a goat.) I like what I've read about Nubians. It is, I am sure, influenced by how darn cute they are as well. Just being honest here.

Most of our neighbors have goats and use (!) them for a variety of purposes: milk, meat, pack animals, lawn mowers, etc. For those of you lovely ladies (and maybe one of the two guys that read this blog) who have goats--please share. What kind do you have? What are the pros and cons of the different breeds you are familiar with? What should I know before I start this? I've read several books, but I want to hear what you think!