tonight

tonight i stopped
and i watched a spider dance in the sky overhead
spinning and weaving silken threads
invisible to my eyes

tonight i stopped
and watched the sky
turn pink and gold and dusky purple
on fire for a moment

tonight i stopped
and tasted summer
wild plums
picked moments before
matching the summer sunset


tonight i stopped
and laughed
as the juice ran down my chin and hands
turning all sticky sweet

tonight i stopped
and listened to the wind
blowing first through the elms
then setting the apple trees dancing

tonight i stopped
and heard the crunch of gravel
neighbors coming home
and the horses talking to one another
and the lonely duck on the pond making his beautiful awful honking quack
and the summer song of the crickets in the pasture

tonight i stopped
and watched the green apples and leaves
with their promises of autumn and pies
turn to shadows against the barely glowing sky
while searching for the first stars of the night

tonight i stopped
and swung in my hammock
hung between two apple trees
dreaming and counting the gifts of this life
and smiled in the moonlight
and thanked Him for it all

tonight i stopped
simply because i knew
that January will come
its frozen beauty and bare limbs blowing
the snow higher than my hammock lies
and i knew--
i would wish
that i had stopped tonight


(for ann~and her teaching me to see the gifts all around me and live fully in each moment)

Use vs. Value

I read the devotion the other morning in My Utmost for His Highest and my mind keeps going back to a certain thought from it.

"We should quit asking ourselves, 'Am I of any use?'
and accept the truth that we are really not of much use to Him.
The issue is never of being of use, but of being of value to God Himself.
Once we are totally surrendered to God, He will work through us all the time."

How many of us get our feelings of worth from doing? I feel the day has been a success if I can mark off all the things off of my To Do List.

How often does that happen? I mean really. I put so much on that thing that I'll be dead before I'm done! You, too?

So does that mean I am not successful/useful, and if I am not successful am I a failure and therefore worthless? Ah, the endless American striving! The finding of our identity by what we do: I am (was) a teacher. A title, an accomplishment, something we can understand and even value. It's often the first question we ask of a new acquaintance. So, what do you do?

But, what if we would could just totally stop. Not just for our own selves, but for each person with whom we come in contact. Stop and see the VALUE of the person as One He Loves, not for What They Do. What a freeing thought! He does the needed work through us anyway.

*******

On a totally different note, let's talk goats. (See, told you it was different.) I want some, and now is the time of year to start looking and buying. I want them mainly for milk. (Not of course, simply for what they do, smile here in light of the last few paragraphs, but come on, it's a goat.) I like what I've read about Nubians. It is, I am sure, influenced by how darn cute they are as well. Just being honest here.

Most of our neighbors have goats and use (!) them for a variety of purposes: milk, meat, pack animals, lawn mowers, etc. For those of you lovely ladies (and maybe one of the two guys that read this blog) who have goats--please share. What kind do you have? What are the pros and cons of the different breeds you are familiar with? What should I know before I start this? I've read several books, but I want to hear what you think!

Hello Friends

We are on day three of no sunshine. This picture was obviously not taken this morning. On the up side, our home feels so cozy with the pumpkin spice candle burning. It really does cheer up the breakfast table.

I'm feeling a bit lost this morning as my plans changed. I was planning on having a friend over for the morning, but she had to cancel. I was going to fix us brunch with a ham quiche and a tomato with herb cream cheese tart.

Now that seems like a lot for just me. The boys are happily enjoying their toast with honey bear & yogurt with raspberries. They do like quiche though, too. It's become my default dinner when what I planned hasn't defrosted, or I've just run out of time.

Last evening found me outside covering up as much as I could in the garden and picking anything close to ripe. We're forecast for snow. The lows are listed as 34 degrees which is just too close to freezing for me. I'm hoping this will pass without a freeze and that the warm weather will kick back in. I've got a delicious pile of produce to work on today. One watermelon, a pile of pickling cucumbers-cause we need more pickles-our purple carrots, tomatoes both red and yellow, peas, zucchini and two okra pods. What do you do with two okra pods?

I have hundreds of tomatoes still out there too green to want to pick. The first of my yellow tomatoes were ripe and so I picked some of those. I was thinking they'd be beautiful layered with all the red tomatoes for a tart. Sprinkling a bit of chopped basil on top would be lovely as well. Hmm...maybe I'll make something up with them later today for dinner.

I had Bunco with my lady friends last night. It was fun. I won, so of course it was fun! Our group also does mini gifts for certain rolls and so I came home with money a some darling Autumn cookie cutters, as well as a ceramic coffee cup with lid and one of those things to keep from burning your hands. It looks like a Starbucks cup without the logo. The lid and sleeve thing are made from silicone.

The box says you can save the world by using this cup. Hah. There's only one way to save the world and a cup isn't it. It is however a nice fit. I'm not bothering with the lid and sleeve today, but those will be nice when I'm out. I've missed having a comfortable cup since I dropped my favorite one on the concrete a few months ago.

Maybe the boys and I'll will make some cookies this morning to test the new cookie cutters. I think we need to do something fun on this gloomy day. I'd never survive living in Seattle that's for sure. (Hi to Carrie in Seattle! I miss you!)

Well, the boys are done eating and it's time I start. Blessings to you all. Thanks for all your kind comments on the last post. The encouragement is so nice.

There are so many things on my heart and mind I want to write about, but I'm still trying to sort them all out. That's about impossible when the boys are up and about. I've been thinking a lot about friendships and mothering and life in general. Good things, but some of which leave more questions than answers.

Wishing you all a bit of sunshine no matter the weather!

Keeping the Sabbath

As I've been reading through the book Breathe with my Mops group, I've been thinking about the Sabbath. Yes, it is listed in the 10 Commandments, but the New Testament as says in Colossians 2:16-17 Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come; the reality, however, is found in Christ. "

What does the Sabbath mean for a Christian? Are we to observe it by more than going to church? Shall it be as any other day to those in Christ? Should we celebrate it at all? Do we need that day of rest?
For a few years, Sweetheart and I chose not to spend money on the Sabbath. We went to church, but did not shop, or eat out on Sundays. Over time, that idea slipped away and it has become more like another Saturday, but with church in the mornings.
I'd like it to be different. Breathe definitely suggests that it should be so. I've been wondering; what does a day look like that is set aside for the Lord? Since I don't work outside the home, my days all look pretty much the same. It's nice that Sweetheart's home on Saturday & Sunday, but he's usually busy with projects and things he can't do during the week. Therefore, whatever I do I need to plan on just being for Pumpkin and I at this time.
I've decided to arrange the week so that I'm not doing chores on Sundays. I even put dinner in the Crockpot last Saturday. I also decided that I'd keep the computer off on Sundays. I think this is a good idea. I was reminded while on the computer checking my email that I was planning to keep the computer off. Oops! Later, I needed a recipe I only had on-line for something I wanted to make that evening. Hmm...
But what about baking for fun? What about working in the garden, if I enjoy it? I chose to still clean up after myself and do the dishes. It's strange.
I'd really like other ladies' ideas on this. Do you keep the Sabbath? What does that mean to you? What helps you to keep your focus on Him?