Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Bittersweet Time


I have been working in the baby's room this week. Trying to discover what I have, what I need, and how to arrange it all in this new space. Smiles and tears flow as I finger all the little things. I have come across several things that were given to me while pregnant with Jimmy.

They've sat boxed up waiting. Now is the time and yet I find it hard to know what to do with some of them. So many hopes and dreams were lost then. I know, each child is a different child and each pregnancy and birth their own events, but it is still hard.

I found the laboring verses cards I made while pregnant with Dumpling yesterday. Guess it is time to be reading them again and renew my mind with His Word. Worry comes more naturally for me. Slow learner, I guess. The cards themselves are a bit worn on the edges, so I may rewrite them. Rewriting things helps me to remember them better anyway.

I am going tonight to gather up some things we need to have on hand for the birth and the first few weeks. Though both Pumpkin and Dumpling were late, I feel more at ease when I am prepared.

I was given a list of things from midwife to have on hand and know that I need things like diapers as well. Some things have simply worn out from use. Other things are packed and will be borrowed from friends. I sent out an email and have friends that have all I was looking for. Blessings indeed.

Hope you all are having a wonderful week. Thanks for stopping by.

9 comments:

Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks said...

It was hard for me when I was pregnant with Stephanie for she was born just a little over a year after Matthew was born too early.

It really wasn't until I held her in my arms that I felt I could breath again.

Bonnie said...

I'm working on getting things ready too, meals for the freezer, quick lunches and breakfasts for B. and the kids while I'm in the hospital, etc..
I just realized today I haven't even thought about birth announcements. A small thing yes, but baby #4 is just as special as baby #1, which is something some of our extended family needs to know...

I've been thinking of you and Jimmy, and wondering how you were doing with the memories being stronger with this little ones birth nearing. Bittersweet indeed, I am sure. Allow the tears to come, they can be soul cleansing, and are precious to the Lord.
Lamentations 3:32-33 Though he brings grief, he will show great compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction to grief to the children of men.

Bonnie said...

Kimberly-
yep, another boy for us!

Anonymous said...

Kimberly,

you have such a sweet spirit - you will be a wonderful mother once again. so sorry you have had heartbreak . . .

Emily

Bonnie said...

That Canner. Oh my. Yep, I would be having canning parties all the time, baby bellies bumping and all!

Angie said...

Oh, Sweet Kimberly. I understand that bittersweet feeling well. I agree with Brenda - it wasn't until Brody was safely in my arms that I felt I could breathe a sigh of relief. No one will replace Jimmy, but I assure you, that sore on your heart will heal just a little bit more the second you see the sweet face you've been carrying in your womb and heart.

I think I'm going to do the same and write out some of those verses. (Tonight, perhaps????) I'm glad you're getting so prepared! Um, more than I can say... ;)

Jodi said...

((Kimberly)) ~ My experience was very much as Brenda described. It is very difficult as the end nears. I remember fighting moments of sheer panic at the thought of losing another. Keeping you and your Sweetheart and your precious babe in prayer.

Kimberly said...

Thank you, Dear Friends. This is a hard time and I am glad to know that I am not alone in these feelings. That means a lot. Love you all!

Davene said...

Oh Kimberly, my heart goes out to you. Grief can spring up so suddenly (and strongly), can't it?

I remember once when I was pregnant with Tobin, I was sitting in church and we were singing "Children of the Heavenly Father." When we got to the line about Him giving and taking, I thought about the miscarriage I had before Tobin, and I cried so much that I thought I might have to get up and leave the service. I was SO grateful to be pregnant again...but still feeling the loss.

I'm praying for peace and joy for you tonight.

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