Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Friends and Doulas

When I was pregnant with Pumpkin I read an article encouraging women to attend one another's birth. In other words, if you are pregnant you should try to go to another mother's birth so that you can actually see what happens first hand. Then, when your time comes you should invite a different woman who is pregnant to attend your birth. It's a good Titus 2-ish idea. I know I've never seen anyone else have a baby except on a video.

I would have done it, but I didn't know anyone pregnant at the time that I'd be comfortable asking, and I didn't know anyone else planning a homebirth. As for my birth, I didn't even want my mom there. (Sorry, Mom, but you know I love you!!!) I had Pumpkin at home with two midwives and a midwife-in-training/doula.

Now we're expecting/have been expecting.... the arrival of number 2. I didn't feel the need to try and attend someone else's birth since I've been through this once and to be honest, the who idea had slipped my mind.

However, an email from a friend who is training to be a doula has changed that. Terri has completed her training, but is required to attend a certain number of births for her certification. She didn't ask if she could come, but after thinking about the idea, praying, and asking Sweetheart his opinion, we decided to invite her. She has such a sweet temperament and friendly disposition that I find her to be very calming. She also has a great sense of humor.

I know it's not the same as inviting an expectant mom, but I did feel like I should left this birth serve someone else as well. We invited her and she wants to come. In fact, she called regularly from her camping trip this last weekend to check on me as she could not receive calls. She was willing (and her family) to drive back from the trip to be at the birth. Of course, nothing happened and she was able to keep on camping, but it was so sweet of her.

We visited on the phone this morning for awhile and I think we've made the right decision to have her here. She really is a special person. She was the coordinator for the Mops group the year I joined and out of the 100 women, she really reached out the most to me and made me feel welcome. All while running everything herself! She chose not to return to Mops this last year and so we lost some contact with each other.

I still thinks it's a little weird to have someone I really do know at the birth. I mean, I'll still be seeing her after the birth. What if I do something really weird, or gross during delivery? I know she's gracious enough not to remind me of it later, but still. Oh well. Those odd thoughts are fleeting and I am so glad she'll be there.

Now, if we could just get the baby to decide to get here...

Thank you everyone that has left encouraging comments. They do mean a lot. I probably shouldn't have posted yesterday in the grouchy mood I was in, but I need someplace to be honest and things aren't always peachy. I slept well last night, only up twice and able to go back to sleep rather quickly, and that always helps. Talking to Terri helped as well. I am thankful that God has placed her in my life.

Pumpkin is awake now. I think we'll go have a snack and I'll get going on the apple pie I want to bake. Think that can count for dinner?
I've been taking a bunch of pictures, but can't seem to get them to download on my computer. I'm afraid the picture drive is still on Sweetheart's machine. However, with the way everything is set up, I am too big to squish back behind the drives to see. Hee hee. The posts have been looking a little sparse lately with all the computer trouble I've been having. Maybe I'll remember to ask him to check it out tonight.
Have a wonderful afternoon!


Jodi said...

Kimberly ~ lol ~ I know exactly what you mean about having someone you know attending your labor; I too am a very private person. However, due to circumstance out of my control [and there are so many of those in the entire pregnancy/birth process], I have had nurses that I've known from church attend me on 2 births. It actually made us closer than we were before.

I think it's a wonderful thing you're doing. In essence you are sharing something of yourself with all the mothers your friend ends up coaching in the future, and that is a very Titus-2 sort of thing. :o)

Now, I've been sitting here this evening debating the merits of baked apples vs. apple pie. I think you've tipped the scales, and apple pie wins tonight! ;o) Oh, and by the way, in days of old when farmers had a heavy noon-day meal, apple pie was originally served as a light supper . . . though it did have the seeds and peel left in it back then! Hmm, make of that tidbit what you will ~ lol!

Praying you have a peaceful night ~ slumbering or laboring, either way. Hugs!

Mimi said...

this is a very special thing you are doing by sharing the birth with this young lady...
sharing in the birth of a child is the most wonderful awesome thing that one can experience...

Anonymous said...

Two of my babies were overdue, one by two weeks. My midwife told me to drink castor oil-I think that's what it was. You can ask your midwife about it if you're interested in trying it.
Mine told me that if the baby was ready to be born, labor would kick in but if not, all that would happen was that I would get a lovely case of diarrhea, lol.
I did it twice and both times it worked. The baby was born within 12 hours. There is alot of lovely diarrhea anyway :) and some cramps because the stuff really cleans you out. It was NASTY getting it down though-not so much the taste as the feel of the oil going down my throat. It was very unpleasant, I'll be honest. It worked great though. The last time I did it, I got as much of the oil down with orange juice as I could in the a.m. and my youngest dd was born that evening. Real labor kicked in...I think around 7 p.m. She was born a little after 9 p.m.
Just a suggestion!
Joanna :)

Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks said...

I just had to check in before heading off to bed tonight. :)

Kelli said...

I am a very private person too, Kimberly. Phillip and two midwives attended Grace's birth. Phillip attended Emily's birth. He was on the phone with my midwife, who was 5 minutes away. Emily was anxious to enter the world...LOL Now for Benjamin's birth I was in the exact same situation as you. My midwife told me about this particular lady who was going through training. I was extremely nervous at first but after I talked to her my fears were put to rest. She was very kind and gentle.

I'm very happy to hear that you are comfortable with this friend of your midwife!


Misc. Muse said...

Congratulations on the new baby! That time is past for me :( When I had my 3rd baby I had a friend come- it was great as if my dh hasn't gone in the deliever room she was going in. He had weak stomach. I ended up with c-section and she talked him into going in. She was a real help to me in the labor room- I wouldn't have done without her and she didn't remind me of anything gross. hehe.

The Eckerts said...

Congrats on your newest blessing! I heard of your new child through Jewels. It sounds like it was quite a quick delivery :)

I know you must be so super busy but I am wondering what type of care you received during your pregnancy. I ended up having to have a c-section with my son and am now pregnant again. I want more than anything to not have another c-section, but they insist that I could not deliver a child vaginally. Either way, I want to have little medical intervention with this child and wondered what the minimum requirements are. What would you recommend making sure I get done and what things aren't necessary. If you have the time you can email me at

Thanks so much.


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