Wife or Mother?

I found this article the other day and thought it was very interesting. It really made me think about how I view what I do each day as both a wife and a mother. I know I say that I'm a stay-at-home-mom more than I do that I am a wife. I think part of it is that I was a working wife for seven years before I stopped working outside the home. I think though, that Mrs. Jaynes raises some interesting points with some very serious repercussions. Here's most of the article:

First and Foremost Wife or Mom?

In Becoming the Woman of His Dreams, Sharon Jaynes recalls a time when "a wife who became a mother remained first and foremost a wife." When did we change "working wife" to "working mom"? When did "housewife" suddenly become less important than "stay-at-home mom"?

Mrs. Jaynes writes of this paradigm shift:

I think the change is more of a reflection of the culture's shift of importance from being a wife to being a mother. Our focus has shifted from a home that is centered on the marriage unit to one that is centered on the children.

She quotes Dr. John Roseman, who reflects in the Charlottee Observer:

"This shift came about largely because America's shifted to a self-esteem based child-rearing philosophy, and women became persuaded that the mother who paid the most attention to and did the most for her child was the best mom of them all."

Mrs. Jaynes makes a powerful point as she notes,

Unfortunately, many times this [shift] has occurred at the expense of the marriage. The wife becomes engrossed in her children's lives, and the husband becomes engrossed in his career. Twenty years later, they look up from their cereal bowls and say, "Who are you?"

A mother should never feel guilty for putting her husband before her children. Giving them the security of knowing that their parents love each other is one of the best gifts she can give them in the long run...

I believe the best mom of all is the one who loves her husband and gives her children the security of living within the protection of a rock-solid marriage, a marriage that exemplifies and models for them what God intended.

I know that I've definitely seen this emphasis placed on the children over the marriage time and time again. I am guilty of it as well at times. Because Sweetheart and I were married for so many years before having kids, we have a very strong relationship with one another. We are each other's best friend and closest companion. I want to maintain that!

As time goes on, more kids are born, and raising children demands more time and energy, I want to make sure that I do not neglect my relationship with Sweetheart. This article really has made me think more about this over the last few days. I don't want to end up married to a stranger, nor lose who I am as a person to being a mom. At the end of it all, I want to please Jesus, not try to be the Mother of the Year.