Waiting

I'm still here.

What is it about people and their inane comments to pregnant women? Yesterday at church I saw a woman I know from Mops. I hadn't seen her since May and had only met her in March. She yelled across the foyer, "I can't believe you're still pregnant!" Ok. Smile. Try not to grit teeth. Yes, I'm due in one week. Yes, I am ready anytime. It's not exactly up to me though, is it? This is up there with the stranger I met a few weeks ago that said I looked like I was about to explode. Um. Ok. Do I know you? Nope. Lord, help me to be gracious in my words and thoughts.

My computer is completely fried. Sigh. Sweetheart is trying to salvage what he can off of it. All I really care about are the pictures. Once he taught me how to download them and I started doing it all the time for this blog, I've just been storing them in a folder on my desktop. I've got some of them backed up, but I'd still loose more than half of the pictures I've taken in the last nine months. I know. I'm married to a tech guy, you'd think I'd back up my stuff.

Needless to say, I'll not be posting any pictures today. Hopefully, I'll be able to switch some things around and download some of my new pictures onto Sweetheart's computer.

I know I should have him take a few pictures of me in these last few days. I am so big. Next time (!) I'm planning to do better at not gaining so much weight in the beginning. I had been doing the Body for Life program very diligently in the six months before I became pregnant and had wonderful results from all the hard work. Then I became pregnant and couldn't stick with it because of all the exhaustion and nauseau.

Surprisingly to me, I've have been exercising at least three times a week up until about two weeks ago. This is good, but a far cry from the six times a week I'd been doing. Also, I've not been as careful as to eating and portion control. Part of it is because I've been thinking that I'll go back on BFL as soon as possible after the baby is born and have been enjoying my freedom a bit too much.

It's a fine line for me to be want to be healthy and strong, but to not obsess about it all. I want to honor the body God created for me and take care of it, but not have it become the focus of my life. It's a process.

My midwife actually came over last night for a prenatal check. She was at a birth during when we should have met on Friday. I was planning to wait, but yesterday was such a struggle I ended up calling her to see if I could go in today. Due to her schedule, she chose to come over last night.

The baby appears to be doing fine with a strong heartbeat (and strong kick!). I am overall still her star patient with this pregnancy. However, it seems that I may have pulled a muscle or something yesterday. (DON'T PANIC MOM, IF YOU ARE READING THIS.) I've been having a lot of pain, but not really contractions. (AGAIN, MOM, RELAX. I'M DOING EVERYTHING I'M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING.) I think it may have happened taking care of Pumpkin. He's the only heavy thing I lift any more and he was a bit of a wild man yesterday.

Today has been a lot better, though I find myself thinking before moving and am really noticing those kicks, especially when they occur with the BH contractions. I'd been tensing up when they hit, but a few hours ago started to try and just relax into them. It actually seems to be less painful. (There's another one right now.) I'm considering all this to be a practice run for the upcoming labor.

I am so excited to meet this little one. My official due date is Sunday. We'll see. I don't think I've met anyone who has delivered on her due date yet, have you? It's such an amazing thing to think when I wake up in the mornings each day~Maybe it'll be today!

Will this be a boy or a girl? Will she have red hair? Will he be like his big brother? It's so exciting. I think it's funny when people ask me if I'm going to find out. I politely say that I will when he or she is born, but inwardly I wonder---if I've waited 39 weeks to find out, why wouldn't I wait a few more? Besides, I haven't had an ultrasound yet and have no plans to.

Tomorrow I need to work on the list of phone numbers and emails for my Mom to contact when I go into labor so that people can be praying. Of course, my master email and phone lists are on my computer which is why I haven't done this yet. If you think about it, feel free to pray.

We are ready here at home. We've collected up everything for the birth and have everything waiting in the baby's room. This time, I think I'll remember to use some of the things I forgot about last time, like my birthing ball, etc. After several days of contractions and little sleep, there was a lot I forgot! No matter, we still had a baby. And what a wonderful baby he is.

I was working on Pumpkin's scrapbook earlier today and enjoying all the pictures of him that I have printed out. He is such a joy. It's been a wonderful 20 months of being his Mama. It's been challenging as well. But just who he is as a person is completely fascinating to me. He has such a great personality and gentle spirit. We feel so blessed by God to be his parents. It's interesting to ponder who is on his or her way to join this little family.

Well, I just looked at the clock and realized that I should sign off and go to sleep. Sometimes it's hard to wind down and go to bed knowing that I'll be up and down all night. Although, I was completely blessed last night to only get up once in the night. I was awakened a few other times by the neighbor's dog and other noises, but was able to go right back to sleep. Bliss. I am thankful for the good night of rest. I'm praying the same will happen tonight.

Sweet dreams to you all! Ok, I just went back and reread parts of this. Is my pregnant Mommy mind showing, or what? It reads a bit like a ping-pong ball game. I doubt I could edit it to make any more sense though, at this point...

Hey, since we're going really random here I'll share my Disappointing Moment in Literature at the Local Barnes and Noble: I went out the other evening after Pumpkin went to sleep to just have a little time alone. After searching on the shelves myself, I finally asked at the counter if they could tell me where I'd find an anthology/collection of Jane Austen's works. Directly behind me was a display of classics, including quite a few individual copies of Jane's novels. I really wanted just one book with all of the stories in it. The sales associate started typing in her computer. Long pause. Blank look.

"That's A-u-s-t-e-n," I said politely spelling the last name, really trying not to be sarcastic. She deleted whatever she had typed.

"Jane?" she said.

"Yes. J-a-n-e," I said, now a bit concerned, but thinking that surely as soon as Pride and Prejudice popped up on her screen she'd recognize the name.

"Oh."

Long pause. No recognition at all.

"No. We can order it for you."

"Yes, please."

It felt like that moment in "You've Got Mail" where she's spelling out the author's name for the clerk at the bookstore that put her out of business. Sigh. I know, not everyone is an Austen fan, but one would think that a middle-aged woman working in a bookstore would at least recognize the name.

I felt like sending her over to Kelli's at The Sparrow's Nest for her "Fortnight of Jane Austen posts". Alas, we are a long way from Grosvenor Square, are we not Mr. Darcy?

Really, I'm going now...