Alas

Winter continues here in Idaho.  It's been snowing snowing snowing all day.  Thankfully, we spent a good part of yesterday when it was clear outside.  It *may* have taken as long to get everyone outfitted and ready to go and redressed after and random gloves and stuff put away than the time spent outside.  I packed as many tissues in pockets and tromped out with everyone else. 

It was the first try for the boys snowshoeing.  Sweetheart mentioned the night before going up to the mountains to try it, but I suggested for a first outing, it might be best to stick to our pasture and the neighbors'.  We did and I'm glad.  Pumpkin was hooked in a took off like a duck to water.  Poor Dumpling's boots didn't fit right in the snowshoes.  Sweetheart spent a looong time trying to strap him in while I chased Cupcake all around. 

I made "roads in the snow" as she called them and she mostly stayed in them.  She's so light she doesn't sink much.  Once Sweetheart gave up he grabbed a snow saucer.  We tried to put Cupcake in it, but she was too small to hold on.  Instead, Dumpling hopped in and Sweetheart dragged he up the pasture.  Pumpkin blazed his own trails and Cupcake walked in the path made by the saucer, or was carried.  Walking in snowshoes carrying a two year old is interesting, and short-lived, especially uphill.  ;) 

Once we got going everyone had a delightful time.  We tromped all over and had such fun.  We looked at animal tracks in the snow and studied how the trails they made.  The sky was a bright blue and the temperature warm enough.

I think the boys favorite part may have been coming back inside afterward and warming up by the fire with the donuts I had baked.  Everyone slept really well last night for all the sunshine and exercise.  It was my best night's sleep since getting hit with this cold.  It is slowly improving and I am glad it's not getting worse, but I am still ready for it to be done.
~
On another note, it had been so nice to move things up to the attic.  Having all my craft supplies and shop supplies in one place is so great.  The added bonus is that our bedroom is finally coming together.  It had become a sort of bedroom/office/craft area and I hated it.

Now, it just has the bed, our dressers, two chairs, the pellet stove and my hope chest my Dad and I made when I was in college.  There aren't even any stacks of books left.  If you know us, you know that's a huge thing.  ;)  It's a huge room that has three windows, plus one in the closet, oddly enough.  Now, it feels so light and airy. 

The only problem left really is the colors.  Oh my, the colors!  Ever wondered why there aren't any pictures of that room--or any of the bedrooms--on this blog?  Simply put, they are all ugly. 
In just our room we have Smurf blue walls, ivory baseboards, doors and windows, and a muddy mustard color ceiling with about two inches of white where the mud meets the Smurf. 

Let's add to that the fact that all the colors are peeling off the plaster walls and ceiling.  And shall I mention the holes every six inches in the ceiling? What about the various cracks in the plaster?
 
Yes, I know you were thinking a paragraph back that I should just get painting, weren't you?  It's not that easy.  There has been a two year debate about what to do with the really bad walls.   Drywall? Replaster? Matches? (That one's for you, Dad.)   I think the plan now is to vacuum (!) off as much as possible, patch the cracks and spray drywall mud all over and texture it.  It's what the neighbor who helped Sweetheart with the drywall finishing in the attic thinks would be best. 

It'll get done.  Just not as soon as I'd like.  Well, we're two years behind that schedule already.  ;)  I had no idea...  All the neighbors who saw the condition of everything when we moved in are amazed at all Sweetheart has done.  Not bad for a tech guy from the city!  Really, he is pretty amazing.

Changing Seasons

We played today outside in the snow. Catching flower-shaped snowflakes, the kind you see in the picture books of perfect crystals, yet melting in an instant, landing on gloves, sleeves, and golden leaves from the passing autumn. Throwing wads of snow, little hands not bothering with ball shaped spheres. I laugh and toss more, shaking snow-laden branches on little boy heads. Sweet girl is snuggled in warm inside with Daddy. Finally, a promise of hot chocolate leads us back inside.

Stomping boots, removing wet layers, thinking of how it much stuff I've piled on them to keep them warm. Rubbing rosy cheeks, wiping runny noses, gathering the trail of dripping things, I hear her cry out. Hot chocolate will wait as she needs to be nursed. The boys pile on Daddy with their snugglely blankets and tell him about their adventure outside while we sit next to them. Giggles and cuddles, warm hands and hearts.

Winter is my least favorite season. I would live in an eternal autumn if I could. But, as we are facing the new season I am trying to embrace it as best I can. On this first day of snow I made sure we were out to enjoy it when my first instinct is to instead brew a pot of tea, turn on some beautiful music, light candles and curl up with a book. I'd rather stay warm and cozy. I'd rather stay safe in my cocoon.

This change of seasons is not limited to the weather. We are standing on the brink of life right now. Looking back at what we have lived until now, and dreaming of all that might be. Wanting to embrace the future, to run into it with arms open wide and alternately wanting to just curl up and stay where it feels familiar, even safe. Wishing to take a leap of faith, but only if I could get a glimpse of what that new life would be like in six months, a year. That of course, wouldn't require faith, now would it?

I am not the same woman I was when I began writing in this little space. Those of you who have followed my journey have seen some of the changes. You've been there through the times of rejoicing as well as the times of tears and great mourning. You've sent laughs, and prayers and love. And I am a better person for it all, and for your friendships. I've learned from you and laughed with you as well as praying quiet prayers for you. I hope you have been blessed as well.

You read my words, my rants, my recipes. I've discovered so much about me through this process as well. I've learned that I don't want to live an ordinary life. I want to grow and learn and discover more and more. I have heard my own heart sing. I have learned to create new things, and grow more in my garden than just beauty. I have discovered that my soul is fed through the simple things. I am renewed by creating and learning and working hard. I have learned to slow down my life and do more than just rush through the days. I have learned to truly live.

I no longer want the same things I did even a few years ago. I want to take another step back. To live a life focused even deeper on what really matters: my Lord, my Love, my family. I want to grow in a community of people with whom I can share not just my life, but theirs as well. I want to teach my boys lessons, not just from books, but from the glory of His creation all around us. To see the beauty and uniqueness in a flower, a snowflake, a sunset, a star. I want us all to feel the awesomeness of His power in the world He has created. I dream of a life of open spaces, quiet places, the smell of the dirt, the warmth of the ground beneath my toes, of watching a seed sprout and grow, of a new life born. I want chickens and goats. Truly.

I stand here today, on the edge of a new season. Yes, winter is coming and with it many things I'd rather not face including a literal coldness and darkness. It is more than that though. I am faced with a new season of life. Will I embrace it, or run and hide because it is dark and unknown? I hope not. My heart wants to run to this new season and not hold anything back. To embrace the changes that will come, some desired, some truly scary in the dark moments of my day. But I don't want to fear. The faith that has brought me this far will certainly carry me through. And I have the love of the most wonderful man beside me holding my hand as we take a step of faith together. And of course, I have the love and laughter of my beautiful children who will be with us each step of the way. The road ahead of us is unknown. We cannot see around the next bend. But, what if we never step out? Think of all we would miss.

You see, Sweetheart's job ended last week. We had wondered if it would for some time and then thought it would just change to be more of what we wanted. Instead, it has simply ended. We must pick the pieces and move on, literally. We have many thoughts and dreams and hopes, but no real answers at the moment. Whatever we choose, we choose together and that is a great comfort. The greatest comfort is though, that we are not alone in whatever we chose. He is with us. And though we don't have the answers we want, and I wish I knew more I am confident that He loves us. No matter where we live or what we do for a living.

BRRR!!!!

The high today here was three. Three. Crazy. I was born and raised in Phoenix and I am not sure I've completely acclimated to this yet.

I went outside on the porch for a few minutes while the boys were napping just to get some fresh air. I didn't last long though. It was much nicer inside.

Onion soup simmered on the back burner most of the day for a cozy supper tonight. I made some chai tea concentrate from a new recipe for a gift for a friend. All in all, the house smelled delicious.

We are reading and hanging our Jesse Tree ornaments up each day and ending our evenings with Advent. The boys are busy acting out the story of Jesus' birth with their own Nativity set. Who knew they had the "Cars" movie cars in Bethlehem, otherwise known as Buffaloham? I love it all.

I have not had a lot to write about, as you can tell by this post, but am just keeping busy making Christmas gifts and hanging out with my guys. We're drinking lots of tea and snuggling in around the fire. It is a quiet time. Well, as quiet as it can be with the boys!

Hard to believe Pumpkin turned four. He is pretty excited about the whole deal and loves to tell everyone. He is such a funny guy.

Dumpling is quite a kick, too!

Well, I am tired and off to read a bit of Anne of Avonlea before heading to sleep. A new friend is coming over for tea tomorrow and I am so looking forward to it! Hope you are enjoying your December---and keeping warm!