Victoria Update

On the Victoria Magazine website under the Advertising Link at the top is a prototype of the Launch Issue. My attempts at linking directly to it have failed, so you'll just have to go check it out yourself.

It's soooo beautiful! I am so excited. It really looks like they are doing it right! Welcome back, Victoria. Oh, how I've missed you! Guess it's time to get out all my old October issues and get inspired all over again.

From the Website:

Mission Statement:

Victoria Magazine brings

a gracious lifestyle of

elegance and sophistication

to daily living,

nourishing the feminine soul

through pages that encompass

entertaining, fashion,beauty, travel,

gardening, decorating,

and so much more.

Victoria restores the spirit

and creates a soothing, relaxing retreat

from the cares of the day.

In the world of Victoria,

serenity and graciousness reign,

with the loveliness of yesteryear

updated and shaped for today’s woman.

Autumn Memories

Three years ago I had the privilege of attending an Artists' Retreat which featured Margaret Becker both as a musician and as the main speaker. The Retreat was sponsored by a church in Colorado Springs, so I knew no one there.

It was an interesting time. I enjoyed the quiet drive from our home to Buena Vista, Colorado stopping whenver I wished to take pictures of the changing leaves, or just to meander off the main highway.

It had been years since I had traveled completely alone. Though I missed Sweetheart tremendously, this weekend had been a special gift from him to me. I had mentioned hearing about the Retreat in passing and he researched it and signed me up without my knowing.

It was a time of searching for me. I knew I wanted to leave teaching, but didn't know what I should do instead. The last few years of teaching had been steadily draining me. I loved the act of teaching and the excitement in a child's face as they learned something new, but I was bogged down in all the paperwork, planning, and endless meetings that fill a teacher's life.

I longed to express my creativity, and while I was often able to do that in the classroom, I needed more. I needed balance and an outlet for just me. So off to the Retreat I went.

It was a beautiful autumn weekend in Colorado. The air crisp, the light and leaves golden, and the sky an amazing morning glory blue. I was alone. I remember stopping for lunch at a funky coffeehouse where I sat eating a bowl of soup and grading papers. Sad, I know. I had taken a batch of papers to work on even though I'd taken the day off of school I was still working. I decided to sit there and finish them all before I arrived at the Retreat so that they wouldn't be hanging over my head all weekend.

When I arrived at where the Retreat was held, I was warmly wlecomed and shown to my room that I'd be sharing for the weekend with another female. As I walked around I met others who were there for the Retreat as well. I remember one of them asking what my medium was. It took a moment to figure out what she was talking about. She said hers was calligraphy. Having done calligraphy myself since the fifth grade, I mentioned that I had done it as well. I confessed to really not knowing what my medium was, but that I was there to possibly discover it. Sweetheart had signed me up for a ceramics session and a writing session, as he is convinced I should write more. I mentioned the writing and expressed my interest in hearing Margaret Becker sing and speak.

I felt so stupid and was tempted to hop back in the car and head home. Here I was surrounded by people who had various claims to art. All I had was a bunch of vague inclinations and a longing to discover how God wanted me to use my gifts. I am glad I stayed. There were moments of doubt throughout the weekend as I felt that I did not measure up to some of the others' talents. And yet, there was a freeing as I discovered that indeed, He had gifted me in many ways. I was not limited by one medium of expression, but felt free to embrace all my interests from writing, sculpture, photography and more.

I spent a lot of time listening; listening to the speakers, the other attendees, and listening to my heart. I felt it a time of healing and discovering, a time to embrace who He had created me to be; not to be proud, or boastful, but to rejoice in the fact that He had given me many gifts. I even allowed that He had made me an artist in the classroom, not in drawing necessarily, but in the drawing out of creativity of each child under my care, as I in turn developed my own creativity and decided it was important enough to make time for.

Margaret Becker was amazing. I've loved her music and her writing for years. I sat literally at her feet during one of the concert times and while she spoke in the sessions as well. I sat absorbing her words, the words He had given her. Spoken with her startling New York accent, I heard Him speak to my soul. As she simply played her guitar and sang, I soaked in the sounds of love and grace; mercy and peace. And I learned to spread my wings as well.



***

While various songs of Margaret's have pierced my heart over the years, there were two songs that weekend that were knew to me and what lead me back to that time whenever I hear them again. Here is one of the song's lyrics.

"Feel It All"

by Margaret Becker and Robbie Nevill

I think I heard your voice

floating on the evening wind

And felt you near again

in the touch of a friend

This is life as it should be

this is life complete

Cracking the surface of every breath

and finding you there

In the center of it

In the beauty of the morning

in the rhythm of the rain

In the symphony of laughter

as it plays across a face

In the colors of creation

painting sunsets in the fall

I want to feel it all

Been living so close to the skin

trying to feel everything

I've been digging down so deep

looking for eternal things

Oh I prayed a prayer to be wise

to see it all with your eyes

For ears to hear

and a heart to seek

and the gift to find

All the treasure you leave

In the beauty of the morning
in the rhythm of the rain
In the symphony of laughter
as it plays across a face
In the colors of creation
painitng sunsets in the fall
I want to feel it all

Oh and what is life

if not to see your spirit passing by

And what is love

if not to leave the imprint of you touch

I think I see it...

In the beauty of the morning
in the rhythm of the rain
In the symphony of laughter
as it plays across a face
In the colors of creation
painitng sunsets in the fall
I want to feel it all

In the fury of the ocean

on a stormy winter's day

In the choir of the angels as they dance upon the waves

In the colors of creation painting sunsets in the fall

I want to feel it all

And what is life

if not to see your spirit passing by

And what is love

if not to leave the imprint of your touch

Autumn Drive

We went on a litle road trip yesterday to enjoy the beautiful autumn colors. We each carried a boy and walked around for awhile enjoying the crisp mountain breeze and all the golden colors of fall. What a wonderful day.

Good Morning All!

We had such a lovely sunrise this morning! I think the sunrises in Autumn are especially vibrant here in Colorado. The baby (Dumpling?) only woke up at around 12, 3:30 and 6, so I feel rested.

Today is the first regular Mops meeting of the year. I missed the Open House meeting two weeks ago, as that was the baby's birthday and I was a little bit busy that morning! I am looking forward to going. I just thought I'd pop in before I go get ready.

Everyone else is still asleep, but I am enjoying these quiet moments. I have a great view to the east from my desk, if I ignore all the houses, and can enjoy watching the sunrise from here. I love how the light changes in the Fall, don't you? We've had such a golden cast to the light that even though the leaves are not changing yet one can tell that Autumn is here. (Well, that and those yummy Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks help, too!)

Thank you, dear ladies, for your prayers, kind thoughts, and sweet comments. I am truly blessed by you all. Have a lovely day!

Adjusting

Blogging is sporadic right now, I know. The baby's schedule (??!) is such that I'm not sure when I'll have two minutes together and when I do, I try to sleep. Apparently, my sleeping is his signal to wake up and cry. *sigh* Sleep deprivation and adjusting hormones are a really cruel combination, aren't they?

Also, working at my desk is still pretty uncomfortable these days. I'm thinking of trying to set up the laptop in our room, but there's no internet in there so I'm not sure it would help. (I already have several posts written on the laptop from probably two months ago that I've yet to get on my regular computer and post!)

I'm sure that we'll get more on track as time goes on. Being out of my routine is challenging for me. I really like knowing what to expect and being able to plan. Not too possible right now, and I'm probably trying to rush the whole idea anyway.

Why is it so hard for me to go with the flow? Sweetheart is taking such great care of us, but I really want to be up and helping more. I know I should just be enjoying this time, as it ends on Monday, but it is so hard for me to do. I like being the one to take care of everyone else, not to be waited on. I am so grateful that he has been able to be home to help.

I confess to being scared of what happens when it's all up to me to care for both of the boys by myself. How do you care for both of them at once when one is so on the go and the other just wants to eat (and cry) all day and night? I know, all you other mommies out there have done it. I am really open to your ideas and suggestions.

Well, I'll sign off now and try to lay down for a few minutes while I can. Have a blessed day!

Pictures

Here we are the night the baby was born.

Breakfast

Here was my breakfast tray Sweetheart brought me the other morning while I was taking care of the baby. Isn't he wonderful?

We then had some fun with the rose and the camera.

Roses and Toeses

Toes

We're doing well here. We've been busy juggling the needs of both little boys this week with hardly an extra moment. Sweetheart has been so wonderful. He's been taking care of Pumpkin while I take care of the baby, as well as doing work for his job at night. So much for vacation time! Tonight he's doing laundry and taking care of stuff around the house.

My Dad and Stepmom just got in town and will be by tomorrow to meet the baby. Here's the baby in the cradle my Dad made.

My Mom has been so helpful as well taking care of Sweetheart and running errands for us all.

We went to the pediatrician's today for the baby's one week check. He passed with flying colors! Dr. B. said he looked perfect and seemed really healthy. He's been gaining weight from the beginning and we can see him plumping up already.

I am a serious boy.

Abner says hell0 in his own special way.

Pumpkin LOVES his little brother! He is constantly giving him hugs and kisses completely on his own. In the van today on the way to the doctor he kept resting his hand on the baby and patting him as they sat next to each other. It was so sweet! He brings him toys as well. It's really cute. We pray that they will grow in love for one another throughout their lives.

The boys meet for the first time.

Just some answers to questions people have left---The boys are 21 months apart. The baby does NOT have red hair. It's currently brown, like his Daddy, but has a lot of blonde underneath, like me. It's hard to tell who he will look like. He bears a strong resemblance to Pumpkin's early pictures, sans red hair, but his features are not as striking similiar to other family members as Pumpkin was. Now, he needs a blog name. Apple Dumpling, or Dumpling has been suggested. Sweetheart would call him Wookie, but that's his multi-purpose nickname for everything, including the dog, so...I'd rather not. I'm open for ideas! Feel free to comment!

Just so you don't think everything is always peaceful around here...

Day of Rememberance, Day of Prayer

September 11, 2007

Here he is!

Good Morning!

I just nursed and put the baby back in his beautiful cradle his Grandfather made before Pumpkin was born. It's a beautiful cherry wood rocking cradle that nestles right next to our bed. I know, some co-sleep, but we're more comfortable with him right next to us. He did end up in with us last night as I was so desperate for some sleep I was trying anything.
Tonight's definitely going smoother. He's been nursing a lot, but going right back to sleep. Now, I just need to!
We did choose his name yesterday and we love it. However, as with Pumpkin and Sweetheart, I am choosing not to post his name. After we chose the name I told Sweetheart he needed a blog name, too. That may take a bit longer!
So will pictures. We took a ton after he was born, but I haven't even seen them yet. Maybe later today.
Just wanted everyone to know that we're all doing great here. I've loved reading all the wonderful comments and thank each one of you for your prayers. I'm off to sleep again for however long I can.
Oh, Pumpkin LOVES the baby. He is so sweet (kinda gentle, but not always) and loving. He's fascinated with his little brother and keep initiating hugs and kisses on him. Those are some of the pictures I really want to see! Even Abner was introduced tonight and seems to be adjusting to the idea.

How to Start Labor- Bake a Pie

Hi ladies!
Instead of trying the castor oil or riding a horse to jump start labor, I just baked an apple pie. I took the pie out of the oven about 8 pm last night, contractions started hurting about 8:20, and by 1:20 am we had a new little baby boy.
He arrived before the midwife. Yes, she only lives about 15 minutes away. Would you believe we were debating on if it was too soon to call?
Well, since I'm running on about 2 hours of sleep, this is going to be short...
He was 8 lbs, 10 ounces, and 21 1/4 inches long. You would think we'd have a name, especially with all those extra days to think about it, but we haven't decided for sure. Everything seems just super for both of us.
Thank you for all your prayers.

Love,
Kimberly

Friends and Doulas

When I was pregnant with Pumpkin I read an article encouraging women to attend one another's birth. In other words, if you are pregnant you should try to go to another mother's birth so that you can actually see what happens first hand. Then, when your time comes you should invite a different woman who is pregnant to attend your birth. It's a good Titus 2-ish idea. I know I've never seen anyone else have a baby except on a video.

I would have done it, but I didn't know anyone pregnant at the time that I'd be comfortable asking, and I didn't know anyone else planning a homebirth. As for my birth, I didn't even want my mom there. (Sorry, Mom, but you know I love you!!!) I had Pumpkin at home with two midwives and a midwife-in-training/doula.

Now we're expecting/have been expecting.... the arrival of number 2. I didn't feel the need to try and attend someone else's birth since I've been through this once and to be honest, the who idea had slipped my mind.

However, an email from a friend who is training to be a doula has changed that. Terri has completed her training, but is required to attend a certain number of births for her certification. She didn't ask if she could come, but after thinking about the idea, praying, and asking Sweetheart his opinion, we decided to invite her. She has such a sweet temperament and friendly disposition that I find her to be very calming. She also has a great sense of humor.

I know it's not the same as inviting an expectant mom, but I did feel like I should left this birth serve someone else as well. We invited her and she wants to come. In fact, she called regularly from her camping trip this last weekend to check on me as she could not receive calls. She was willing (and her family) to drive back from the trip to be at the birth. Of course, nothing happened and she was able to keep on camping, but it was so sweet of her.

We visited on the phone this morning for awhile and I think we've made the right decision to have her here. She really is a special person. She was the coordinator for the Mops group the year I joined and out of the 100 women, she really reached out the most to me and made me feel welcome. All while running everything herself! She chose not to return to Mops this last year and so we lost some contact with each other.

I still thinks it's a little weird to have someone I really do know at the birth. I mean, I'll still be seeing her after the birth. What if I do something really weird, or gross during delivery? I know she's gracious enough not to remind me of it later, but still. Oh well. Those odd thoughts are fleeting and I am so glad she'll be there.

Now, if we could just get the baby to decide to get here...

Thank you everyone that has left encouraging comments. They do mean a lot. I probably shouldn't have posted yesterday in the grouchy mood I was in, but I need someplace to be honest and things aren't always peachy. I slept well last night, only up twice and able to go back to sleep rather quickly, and that always helps. Talking to Terri helped as well. I am thankful that God has placed her in my life.

***
Pumpkin is awake now. I think we'll go have a snack and I'll get going on the apple pie I want to bake. Think that can count for dinner?

I've been taking a bunch of pictures, but can't seem to get them to download on my computer. I'm afraid the picture drive is still on Sweetheart's machine. However, with the way everything is set up, I am too big to squish back behind the drives to see. Hee hee. The posts have been looking a little sparse lately with all the computer trouble I've been having. Maybe I'll remember to ask him to check it out tonight.

Have a wonderful afternoon!

Thank you!

I've been so touched by the outpouring of care and prayers as we await the arrival of the baby. I confess that it has been hard for me to concentrate on much else lately as the days pass and nothing happens. I felt closer to labor about a week and a half ago than I do now. There really appears to be nothing happening.

This Friday I go back to the midwife where we will start looking at options and probably have to make an appointment to see the OB. I'm not sure if anything will have to be done that day, or if we'll be planning for next week. I'm hoping for the later.

I keep rereading my verses on my index cards throughout the day, but find myself forgetting that peace as the days drag on. I know that He is in control and that all will occur in His perfect time. I know that. Yet, I grow impatient. Each morning I awake hoping, praying, (begging) that the baby will be born, but as the day grows to a close with no change, I find that I am discouraged. I'm sure my lack of restful sleep is only adding to the frustration.

So I ask again for you to continue to pray. I want to enjoy these days and not lose them to worry. I want to stay focused on Him, and not my tummy. I do rejoice that the baby seems to be doing just fine in there and kicking up a storm.

Pumpkin was born a week late, but I had been laboring for several days before his arrival, so it didn't seem as long. We're a week and a half passed with no signs of labor. I know in my mind it can all change anytime. Sigh. I'm sorry to sound so down. Think I'll sign off for now. Tomorrow is a new day.

"He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it."

Beautiful New Magazine

Congratulations to Kelli (and Phillip) for the launching of their new website and magazine, Seasonal Delights. Do sign up today. It's absolutely beautiful and free. Autumn is my favorite season.

I just downloaded it and I am looking forward to reading every word. I have my new Cinnamon Spice Pumpkin candle burning in the kitchen and my Autumn table cloth and centerpieces ready to put out. What a delightful addition this magazine will be! (Plus, it will give me something to do besides stare at my tummy.)

The Labor Day that Wasn't

Still no action on the baby front. He/she is in there kicking me pretty good, but apparently has no plans to come on out. Just so you know...

Labor Day Weekend

No labor. Nada. Nothing.

Pumpkin and I went for a couple mile walk today in hopes that it might jumpstart labor while Sweetheart tried to finish as many projects as possible before the baby arrives.

We'll see what Labor Day brings tomorrow...

What Do We Leave Behind That Matters?

I attended the memorial service for the mother of a former student today.

They moved to Colorado and enrolled at our school the week she was diagnosed with Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer. They lived in a small town in Wyoming, but decided to come here for treatment. Her mother left her home and job as well to take care of her and her son. Her husband and older son had to stay in Wyoming so that he could keep his job and medical insurance for her.

We didn't know all of this right away, we just knew we suddenly had a new student and that something odd was going on. One afternoon, the grandmother struck up a conversation with another student's mother and told her all that was happening. That lovely mother of three and her husband, who had just recently become a Christian, decided that they should open their home to this family. They had a complete, but completely unfinished, basement that was being used for storage.

To make a long, and challenging story short, this family turned their lives and home completely upside down for another family of strangers in need. From start to finish, with the help of almost all volunteers mostly from the school, the basement was finished in about two and a half weeks. From a concrete foundation with no walls, to a completely furnished apartment with carpet, tile, effiency kitchen, two bedrooms and a living room in mere days. So many people said it couldn't be done, but luckily they weren't the ones doing the work.

The outpouring of help in so many ways was overwhelming. This was just a public school helping a new family. Everyone did what they could whether as a professional electrician, or just volunteer painters.

They lived there for eight months as she received treatments. Then a remission occured and they were able to move back to their home in Wyoming. Sadly, within a year, the cancer was back. At that point the entire family moved into their own place here in Denver. In that time period as well, her husband began facing his own battle with cancer in his back.

In mid-August Christy passed from here to heaven.

Today's service was hard, in that it's so hard to see a husband lose his wife and children their mother. The pictures, stories and songs were a neat tribute to a wonderful woman who had fought hard against the cancer. She lost the battle with the disease, but never lost her joy or her sense of humor.

She leaves behind a rich legacy. It's not a legacy of money or riches, but a legacy of love. You see, she had also been a foster parent for many years opening her home to over a dozen children, one of whom she adopted. He had been so severely abused in his life, but she gave him a home of love and safety. Even after she was married, her home continued to be opened to kids in need. She and her husband even had one son together, the boy who was my student.

I'm not sure what they will do now. I spent the morning with the family who was enjoying their time together. Though the circumstance that brought them together from across the continent was hard, it was still a day focused on love. Family members have been reconciling through this time and estrangements healed.

There was even a new friend added to the mix whose father passed away at the same hospice she was in the day after she died. The hospice was in Florida where members of both families lived, even though parts of both families are here in Denver. It was so neat to see a family reaching out past its own loss to draw in another hurting family.

It's so easy isn't it, when things are tough, to simply withdraw and just gather around those you know and love? Molly, the mother and grandmother, did not do this. Though she was losing her only daughter, she has drawn in this new person suffering the loss of her father.

Molly's faith, strength and love has been amazing through all of this. I am hoping after the baby comes to be able to see her and spend time with her as well as her grandson. It's so good to know that whatever happens next, they won't be alone. There are so many people out there reaching out to one another, in His name, and loving one another.

And really, this is all we have to leave behind, isn't it? It's not our wealth that will really matter, but our love. Christy leaves behind those she's loves and that love her. But we know, they will all be reunited together with Him one day. She is not here, but she lives on with her Savior. We continue to pray for those that she has left behind. It will be a hard time for a long time.